International Women's Day: The Mana Wahine project
We are surrounded by mana wahine (strong women) at CrossFit Propolis everyday. Women who inspire and build each other up. Women who are not afraid to share their stories of strength through struggle or adversity in an effort to remind other women (or men): you are not alone.
To celebrate international Women’s day we asked our wahine to share their own stories of strength and empowerment, and what they had to overcome in order to be the Mana Wahine they are today.
Mana Wahine: Krissy
”All women are strong. When we live authentically we empower those around us to do the same. Authentic living means you are utilising the skills, gifts and talents necessary to do your life’s work. You understand the gift of being you and have let go of trying to be anyone else.
I lived the majority of my life trapped in my body: unable to properly participate physically in my life because I was too large. I couldn’t go to the cinema or cafes because the seats were too small. I had to shop in speciality stores for shoes and clothing. My body ached - I had sleep apnoea, pre-diabetes, shortness of breath, terrible pain in my feet, knees and hips. Walking was incredibly challenging. My life was lived on the sidelines, watching others take for granted the things I so desperately wished I could do.
Weighing 172kg, I decided to take a new approach to health - I put myself and my needs first, and made a commitment to change my lifestyle permanently, no quick fixes. I paid for a gastric bypass to manage my hunger and as a tool to lose a good amount of weight to take the physical stress that excessive weight puts on the body and heart. I set goals around moving - first 2000 steps a day, then 5,000 then 10,000. I relearnt (and am continuing to learn) about nutrition and a healthy mindset with food, stress and the ways I use food to cope with life. I engaged experts along the way - counselling and therapy to deal with trauma, addictive behaviours, and as the weight came off, identity. I used personal trainers, nutritionists, gyms and have now found CrossFIt.
Coming through the doors to Propolis exactly 1 year ago was one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. I worried for many months that I had no right to be there, that I was not an athlete. I was continuously confronted by my limitations - finishing every scaled WOD last, unable to run 200m, barely able to lift an empty bar, not looking like anyone else and feeling so vulnerable about my body and what it couldn’t do. But I didn’t give up even though I wanted to. I committed to myself to turn up 3 times a week, and I did. I stepped out and built relationships in the box. I smiled, said hello - it mattered because I slowly realised we were all in this together. And I would talk to myself - just get through that one WOD Krissy, then one more then one more. Some days I would cry in the car afterwards, it was so hard mentally & physically.
But then something happened: I did my first box jump and felt so proud! And that pride grew at so many firsts: wall walks, handstands, power snatches, running without stopping, the 2Toa competition. My success in CrossFit is the culmination of so much hard work and grit. It takes guts to turn up - no matter what the outcome.
I realise now that there are no quick fixes in life. If we want better than we’ve had, we must be consistent and bold. We need to extend beyond ourselves. Overcoming adversity requires flexibility, stamina and most of all courage. And we women know a thing or two about courage!”
Nga mihi, Krissy
Mana Wahine: Maggie
“Being a strong woman is about having the confidence to A) be whatever type of woman you want to be and B) allow other women to be whatever type of woman they want to be. Too often we try to define a set of traits that make someone ‘something’. If being a strong woman means that you don’t want to wear make-up, then that’s awesome – but it doesn’t mean that someone else can’t totally crush their morning make-up and still be a strong woman too! I suppose if I try to summarize my thoughts it’s that being a strong woman is all about ‘lifting’ – both literally and figuratively for lots of our Crossfit fam!. Lifting yourself AND those around you up.
One of the toughest times in my life was just after the 2nd time I had torn my ACL in the space of basically a year. It essentially ended my plans to pursue playing rugby to the highest level – which had been my only goal since I was 13. I had poured so much of my identity into who I was as a rugby player that I was left terrified when that was taken away. I, like many other athletes before, had poured all my self-worth into my athletic performance and selection. Having that taken away at 20 was an incredibly hard pill to swallow and for a while I was bitter. I had worked so hard and done everything right to recover from my first surgery, and yet here I was basically ‘washed up’ before I was 21. It took visiting a Boys and Girls club (a charity that helps at risk youth in Canada) to knock some sense into me. Seeing kids who had endured so much at such a young age was enough to put things in perspective for me, and allowed me to move past my own issues. I was able to appreciate that I was still valuable to my team and my rugby community despite my injury. This set me up for a move to New Zealand which (obviously) changed my life in many, many ways – not in the least to mention that it led me to the outstanding Refereeing opportunities I now get, which in all likelihood far surpass what I would’ve experienced as a player!”
Mana Wahine: Ticiana
“Being a strong woman means to never give up, just look forward and always believe in yourself, doesn’t matter if it looks impossible, we can show everyone that we can do it.
I overcame adversity when I decided to move to NZ, leaving everything behind, family, friends. After a year and a half living here, I’m so proud of myself, seeing how much I achieved, with new friends from different countries and cultures, feeling at home again.”
Mana Wahine: Mariana
“Being a strong woman is being persistent on something you really want and try to achieve it.
Coming to NZ a year and a half ago, without a Visa and a job was a struggle. To get to a new country, no job, no friends and it’s not your “culture” is not easy. Most of the people have already a “settled life” which is what you hope for. For that reason I got back into Crossfit and doing other sports where it makes it easier to meet people, you do exercise and entertain yourself at the same time.
To get a job in the Engineering market where most of the professionals are men was not really easy, and for that I had to accept a lower “position” to work and prove what I could do.
Now I’m happy to say I achieved at least a part of my goal. And just by making a few friends and actually having a job, a place to live, a “life” it makes you feel like you’re part of something.
Mana Wahine: Emily
“Being a strong woman mentally and physically to me means having independence and not having to rely on others, particularly males to achieve end results. ‘that the world is our oyster just as much as any strong male’
Being a female in a male dominated organisation and trade is one example of overcoming adversity. It felt like an achievement overcoming adversity, as I showed non believers that as a female I was just as competent as the males and that females can bring other strengths and qualities to a team.”
Mana Wahine: Elaina
“To me, being a strong woman means breaking out from societal and misogynistic expectations forced upon me. It means deciding what I want and working to achieve it. It means celebrating diversity and realising that women and their beauty come in all different shapes and sizes. It means being fiercely passionate about lifting the women around you to see their own worth and beauty.
I’ve had to overcome a lot of adversity in my weightlifting. To become the best athlete possible, I needed to fill out my weight class (ie: put on a significant amount of weight so I could build more muscle and strength to lift more). It has been a HUGE mental battle for me to come to terms with the higher number on the scales, bigger dress sizes and the fact that I don’t have ‘abs’ anymore. But once you let go of those pressures, it’s empowering! I LOVE the fact that my body allows me to squat 120kg and throw almost 100kg above my head. It’s still something I must remind myself of from time to time – but to me, nothing feels better than being strong.”
Mana Wahine: Helena
I think being strong is about owning who you are and believing in your path of life. It's following your passions and being inspired by other strong women around you. It's mental, physical and emotional. It takes a lot of practice and a shit load of hard work.
This year I was faced with the biggest exam of my life to date. I had to learn about all chronic illnesses in 6 weeks (after 3 months of holiday). On top of theoretical learning, I was at work everyday getting the practical experience required for starting work later this year. Although I was going through the motions at work, I was feeling totally unsupported. I would come home in tears not knowing if I was on track or doing the right things and was scared of failing. I felt like I was floating through each day with no direction and somehow everyone thought that I was fine. I knew I wasn't fine, and the fact that people thought I was ok showed me that I wasn't telling people how I felt!
So...
I knew I needed to ask for help. I voiced my concerns about my support and my learning. And I reached out to anybody and everybody I could and told them that I was struggling. I also made sure that I came to my happy place (aka CrossFit Propolis) most days to keep me sane!
I overcame adversity with the help from my friends, family, and University. But for me, the biggest part of overcoming this came from within. It came from my self-respect, self-love (still learning), and understanding of who I am and what my limits are.
Knowing when to ask for help could never be a weakness. It shows how strong you truly are; you can identify, acknowledge, and act in order to change your course in life.”
Mana Wahine: Gloria
“I consider a strong woman to be someone who fights for her ideals in an honest way, is that one who despite the fact that she once felt defeated and without strength, she could get up and continue fighting. Is someone who understands the fact that life can hit you hard, but you can always get ahead, it’s a matter of fact! Just believe and trust yourself!!
I faced and overcame adversity when I lost someone really close to me and my whole world changed. That hard time has passed now but I still think about this someone special everyday. But you know what? I learnt that we have to live plenty, laugh long and enjoy every moment, because life can be unpredictable and we have to enjoy it!!”
Mana Wahine: Karina
“A strong woman is both physically and mentally strong. This means knowing my strengths and weaknesses. Being able to approach my life in a pragmatic way, and being strong enough to learn from mistakes and implement change. To be empowered with self-awareness. Have the ability to handle my emotions to react to life’s challenges. Be selfless, but also have the strength to find the balance.
To be a strong woman means to have strength of character to take on my dreams and turn them into reality.
At the age of 24 I made the decision to move across the world from the UK to NZ.
I was faced with a world of fear. Leaving my family, friends, comforts and security, to move to a country I’d never been to before.
To feel the fear, the vulnerability, the uncertainty and have the courage to follow through with pursuing my dream was the best decision of my life. I have a great sense of pride and confidence in myself for accomplishing this goal. I continue to seek opportunities to learn about myself and how to become a better version of me.”
Mana Wahine: Martina
“A strong woman is someone who stands up for themselves, faces fears front on and gets on with life.
A year ago I was attacked by thugs on a night out with months of no exercise and recovery. I think my friends helped me through this period but I guess you find an inner strength within to power on and see light at the end of the tunnel. I have always been strong and independent as I’m in a foreign country on my own so therefore have learnt lessons to overcome many challenges. Positive vibes and good friends helped me to become strong.”
Mana Wahine: Vicki
“A strong woman decides on the life that she wants and does the hard yards to make it happen, regardless of the opinions of others and obstacles faced.
As a 15 year old in 1986 I was asked by teachers to drop Physics as it was oversubscribed and "girls don't do physics" - I refused, continued with Physics and completed a Civil Engineering degree (along with only 2 other women in my year). It certainly was not the end of the blatant sexism I have experienced in my life - but it was, and still is, a good reminder that I have the strength to decide my own path.”
Mana Wahine: Jess
“Being a strong woman means I can set an example for my son and daughters that gender is not a restriction. That mental strength and resilience takes just as much training and practice as building physical strength, and everyone moves at their own pace. It also means I can move a clothes dryer across our property without needing to ask anyone for assistance.
Twelve weeks into my second pregnancy we found out we were expecting twins. Although growing two babies was not the most comfortable experience, managing newborn twins was definitely the biggest struggle I have faced. The logistics involved in completing even the simplest of tasks with them was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Not to mention the sleep deprivation, which made everything seem like even more of a challenge. But as the girls got older, regular sleep patterns resumed and I felt my sanity return.
I still find it a struggle at times to navigate motherhood while trying to find and follow my own passions. However, I feel that it’s important for my children to see me invest time and energy into my own endeavours as well as theirs. My hope is that this in turn will allow them to realise they should also invest in themselves, create a drive from within, and pursue their own passions and goals.”
Mana Wahine: Bailey
"As I’ve become increasingly self aware, strength has become synonymous with much more than physicality. Because strength comes in various forms, I believe all women are strong, but in particular I look up to those who are unapologetically themselves. It’s so easy to hide behind a mask and project ourselves as the ideations others have for us - particularly as women, being constantly bombarded with messages about what we should or shouldn’t be. It may make us more accepting to others, but to project a false self is an invalidation of our own identities. Taking off the mask requires being vulnerable, letting go of shame, and truly believing that you are worthy, enough and deserving of space in this world, even when the world says otherwise - all of which require great strength and courage. The strongest women I know are those who present themselves to the world in their rawest of forms, not demanding to be accepted or striving to meet anyone’s expectations, but simply existing as they are without apology. To me a strong woman is also someone who empowers other women, who utilises her words, her vulnerability, and her experiences to remind others that they are not alone.
Like most people, I have encountered my fair share of adversities. But my greatest has been an internal one: accepting myself for who I truly am. It’s probably why I admire those women who are unapologetically themselves so much - it’s the very quality I aspire to have myself.
Growing up I was led to believe by various people that I was too much. Too opinionated, too argumentative, too outspoken, too loud. Like most young people I was also not very self aware, which, combined with the aforementioned, often rubbed people up the wrong way. Over time I internalised this negative feedback and concluded that if others didn’t like me then I shouldn’t like me either. So for years I tried really hard to become someone else. Multiple different people in fact. I became a people pleaser, an expert at concocting and projecting false versions of myself depending on who I was surrounded by. I never showed my real self because I was terrified of being rejected. To a degree, it worked. I became likeable to a vast range of people because of my ability to “chameleon” - changing my identity to suit whatever I thought people would be most accepting of. But it also meant I was never my true self, to the extent that I legitimately forgot who I truly was and what I stood for. And that who I thought I was was really just a bunch of projections. I was a fraud. As you can imagine, quite the terrifying realisation to come to.
In terms of overcoming it, I wouldn’t say this particular adversity is one that can be “overcome”. Instead it’s more of a process, an ongoing journey of self-discovery. One that basically requires me to rewire my brain, and undoing so many years of unhealthy thoughts about myself is no easy task. However, with the help and support of others, particularly the Propolis community, which has been my saving grace more times than I can count, I have slowly started to let go of this idea that everyone needs to like me in order for me to like myself. Rather, that my value and likeability are, first and foremost, inherently dependent on how I see myself. Although I think it’ll always be a work in progress, for me it’s a labour of love I am excited to continue cultivating. "
Mana Wahine: Harriett
"My definition of what it means to be strong has changed over the years. It has evolved as I have, along with what is important to me, and what I aspire to. The strength I see in the women I look up to, and that I aspire to see in myself is centred around being unapologetically authentic. Owning every part of ourselves and accepting who we are and who we are not. Strong women do not however see themselves as being fixed a certain way. They know they have the power to transform behaviour and habits if needed to achieve their goals. This makes them a force to be reckoned with. Strong women act, despite fear, to fight for what they want or what they believe in.
I haven’t always felt “strong” in my definition of the word. Growing up I had a tendency to construct my identity on talents. Talents that I had to work hard for no doubt, but being “good” at things - sport & art specifically, made me feel worthy. I thought that the things I was “good” at made me who I was. Because of this, I strived for excellence in everything I could. This built me an insane work ethic, yet it made me reliant on external success for self esteem.
I got a scholarship to University for art, so naturally this reinforced for me that it was something I would be good at. However, this was not the case, and I really struggled. Going from top of the class at high school to barely passing my final year of Uni, without really understanding why, was heartbreaking. I gave it everything I had, worked insane hours and invested most of the little money I had on materials to ultimately feel like a failure. So how did I deal with it? Drinking, partying - the way most young people do. This is engrained in the tertiary culture and too easily becomes an escape for most. Inevitably, this simply made things worse as I would become so wasted that I couldn’t remember most nights out. I hurt friends and lost friendships. I disconnected myself from family. I sacrificed being a good person for the escape. I woke up most mornings with that sinking feeling of self loathing.
Sometimes it takes hitting what feels like rock bottom to realise that something has to shift. I signed up for a personal development course thanks to a referral from a friend, and it quite literally saved my life. I created a new identity for myself - to be a woman of integrity. This first started with taking responsibility for my part in the break down of relationships, and being authentic with those closest to me. This most certainly was not easy, and didn’t always result in a favourable outcome but it lifted what felt like a lifetimes worth of low self worth and baggage.
I often felt like my struggle was not “significant” enough and I had no right to feel the way I did. But I think that’s often one of the reasons why people don’t speak out about their struggles before it’s too late. They feel that what they are dealing with is not “big” enough and people will tell them to harden up. By sharing our struggles (seemingly big or small) we not only open the space for people to offer support, but we ultimately give others permission to speak out and find support also."
Mana Wahine: Abby
“Being a strong woman means knowing both: a) how to work with your strengths and be proud of what ever they are and also b) how to ask for support and help when you need it. A big part of this for me, is to listen to other strong women (and men) in my life to help understand my own values and who I am.
The biggest adversity I've had to overcome was a miscarriage. It is something that, unfortunately, is very common in NZ. Being with family at this time really helped us get through and the experience did bring us closer together. It also made us realise how much we wanted to be parents and now we are fortunate enough to have our beautiful Isabelle Rangimārie.”
Mana Wahine: Sarah
"A strong woman to me is someone who is not necessarily physically strong but mentally strong. It’s someone who owns her life with confidence and integrity and doesn’t let any obstacles get in her way of succeeding.
Rheumatoid arthritis struck me out of the blue while I was on my O.E in London. Within 3 months my body was crippled with pain and it took 5 long years to get the inflammation and pain under control (thank you drugs). RA affects women three times more often than men. Exercise and playing sports are so important for me to keep my muscles strong to support my joints, but some days it can be physically challenging. It may take my body longer to recover from a workout than others, but I’m not going to let a bit of pain get in the way of doing the things I love."
Mana Wahine: Teoni
"A strong woman is someone who can use her flame and light to ignite and brighten the flames of others.
As a teacher for children with Profound and Multiple Learning Difficulties (PMLD), I stare down the face of adversity each and everyday as we overcome life’s barriers together. We overcome adversity each step at a time; celebrating each tiny triumph that you might miss at the blink of an eye.
A student of mine who uses a wheelchair recently requested to climb a mountain. With the strength I gained from CrossFit, we worked together, facing adversity, to learn to take her first steps, until together we took those steps on the summit of a mountain. It’s the tiny miracles in every day.”